teamhuerta

N.A.M pt 8-Goodbye!?

// November 16th, 2007 // Adoption

What are we doing? What must the kids be thinking?  Who are we?  All these questions popped
into our head as we were preparing to meet our kids when we arrived in Colombia.  Just today “SuperMami” (my name for my beautiful wife ‘mami’ is pronounced mommy) told me what “Mowgli” (our name for our oldest son) had said to her yesterday.  While I was at work, they all reviewed the pictures from our time in Colombia.  When they saw the picture where we met them for the first time, Mowgli commented with a sad tone in his voice;

“that was a sad day Mami. We no happy.”
“Why, dear?”
“Cause we said goodbye to our other mami! We no see her no more.”

This got me thinking.  Are we really that selfish to not consider the emotions of our children at such a
pivotal point in our lives together?  But only when we were ready to leave Colombia did I sob like a baby and hurt for them when they had to say goodbye to Colombia.  Read my post here for more on that thought.  I recall thinking briefly about their feelings but those thoughts quickly faded as we anticipated the new life we were about to have.

Meeting our kids was something we had waited for, prayed for and hoped for over a year.  It was the climax of our journey to adopt on our roller-coaster.  We had finally left the train station and “clicked” all the way up the hill.  We never thought about it from their perspective.  Yeah it may one day in the distant future be a climax to them but they were on a different type of rollercoaster that day.  They woke up that morning said goodbye to their “foster-mami” for the last time, ate their last breakfast at ‘that’ table.  Mowgli said goodbye to his friends at school potentially forever as he left for siesta that day.  Lord knows what was going through his mind.

Maybe the frightened look that covered their faces that day was not because we were ugly or looked mean but because they were grieving.  Grieving is a natural by-product of adoption.  As new parents, you will have to stand firm, cry with them, reassure them, and just hold them to allow their tears to penetrate God’s heart and yours.  I believe that as I hurt, my heavenly father hurts too.  I honestly think that in those nights where we were absolutely heartbroken over our children’s tears of sorrow and hurt, that the Holy Spirit carried us through and we can and will look back and see only 1 set of footprints in the sand.

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