Is that a boy over there or do I see a man? My work as a youth minister has been greatly interrupted by the expansion of our family. Not in a bad way, mind you. But interruption has happened none the less. I don’t know if you could relate or if you could imagine a life of "certainty" and "stability." For example here are a few things I’ve had to re-learn as a youth minister because of my fatherhood.
1. I don’t have the "right" answer anymore to respond to the concerned junior high parent that says,"he is just so disrespectful, I want to "kill" him!" (cause sometimes I feel the same way)
2. Parents need all the help and support and love they can get.
3. Just when I think I have it all figured out, God shows up and shows me something totally different.
4. Stable and well adjusted parents would never dislike their child, "children are too precious and sweet and innocent"
5. Oh yeah, that innocent thing, it ain’t true.
6. Even though, maybe because I am, a youth minister, I want my kids to skip over those years. I have a beautiful Latino daughter, and 2 handsome boys who all have the potential to call into question my ability to know anything at all about teenagers.
7. I don’t have the greatest influence on teenagers that participate in my ministry.
8. I don’t know everything I once thought I knew.
9. God is God and he still loves me, even though I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing.
One day I will look at my children and despite the obvious genetic difference in appearance, they will have adopted and personalized some of my beliefs and I will see me or at least a reflection of me. Then I will know what fatherhood really is about. So I write this, certain that I know 2 things about being a father. One, God will always love me and secondly, I don’t know what I’m doing!