// March 3rd, 2008 // No Comments » // Fathering, Manhood
Some of my most painful memories from youth came flooding back to me about 5 years ago. I was not involved in therapy or anything like that. By nature I am very melancholic, so it must have been one very lowly day.
My parents divorced when I was 12 and I became disconnected from my father. I wrote down something that to this day rocks me. Something that I swore I would never do to my son, should God bless me with one. That statement was, “No matter how hard I tried, I could not lead myself into manhood.” I promised that my son would never have to experience that feeling.
During college; at the height of my physical prowess, I hiked up Mt. Washington, in New Hampshire, the highest summit this side of the rockies. It was a sobering test of patience and stamina. Three quarters of the way up, we encountered a sign that would humble the most seasoned hiker and avid adventure traveler. The sign said, “DANGER! TURN BACK NOW IF THE WEATHER IS BAD. Many have died here from exposure, even in the summer!”
Now I stand at the foot of that mountain, fathering 2 son(s) to manhood. Will I fear the DANGER sign toward the end of the journey? Will I be confident with the trail I have chosen? Will the summit be as glorious as I imagine? Will I be able to let them go down into the valley? How will I protect, guide, and teach them about the ‘birds and the bees’ and all the beautiful sycamore trees on the way up? Will we encounter any lost fathers on the way? What will I do when any of us want to give up on the journey?
Despite my lack of a guide, I think I got there. I think I reached manhood, a little hurt, bruised, calloused, and weaker than my more fortunate counterparts. BUT, I have had 7 years of solid marriage and ministry experience to help patch up the bruises and strengthen the weary bones. So, YES, I will take my boys up that mountain, I will be their guide to manhood. Lord willing I will see them guide as well.
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