Moving on…

I have done a lot of hiking and biking over the last several months.  Last weekend I took the entire family through some of the most beautiful hiking in our area.  I learned several things from this little walk through the woods.  We walked through a deep gorge carved in the rock by millions of gallons of ice cold glacial water.  We walked on precipitous ledges that only scratched the surface of  the sheer verticalness that surrounded us.  These are the things I learned.  My dog is absolutely fearless of heights and so is my little boy and girl and my big boy.  All of my children have no problem with heights in the same way I do, they walk , skip and even jaunt closer to the edge of trails I will hike alone unhindered, but when I am with my family there is a different sense of dread and protection I feel.

What is that about?  I can hike this very quickly and calmly by myself or with a friend.  The danger isn’t as real or evident.  But put me with my children and family and my anxiety level skyrockets.  I know I have a fear of heights.   Am I really afraid of heights or am I a fraid exposed heights, I feel safe in an airplane but if it had a see through floor, I think I would just be beside myself, what has ever given me reason to believe I will fall from a height?  I have never had an experience where my life was threatened by being in high places so is my perception a trained condition or an experienced response?  I am exploring that answer every day…

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