teamhuerta

Little Monsters

// February 6th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Adoption, Children, Fathering, Uncategorized

Parental authority, what is that anyway.  Quickly approaching 1 year in the good ole US of A  and we can certainly see that parenting is more difficult than once expected.  They all have little quirks that can irritate to no end.  Sometimes we think God forgot to properly attach their ears to their little bodies.

Just last night we were falling asleep watching our regular episode of Seinfeld.  This is the episode where George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer are searching for their car in the parking garage and can’t find it for hours.  Well George is quite irate with the present situation and begins to yell at a mother who is dragging her son to their car kicking and screaming.  Well, George interrupts and says to the mother, “You shouldn’t hit little kids.  They’re so innocent and if no one else will stand up for them, I will.”  He proclaims to the mother assured of his stance.  Then the 8 year old boy turns to him and calls him “Ugly and four eyes and fat.” causing anger to arise in George so he spouts back, “Yeah, well you’re ugly and you can’t see.”  Kid replies “yeah I can see and I see that your ugly.”  With that the kid hops in the car and you see George boil with anger and coming within inches of strangling the kid.  I can relate George, I can relate!

So innocence is all a matter of relativity with our children.  But I, being the father, must learn to show grace to our children because I know that “all have sinned” and that “all are sinners” (Rom. 3:23, and 6:23).  Having children in our homes and lives only reminds us, what God does for us with each breathe and heartbeat.  I wouldn’t change a thing and am very grateful to grow in my understanding of God through fatherhood.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Fruit of Compassion

// December 21st, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption, Colombia

Since I wrote about our compassion experience yesterday, I thought I would take a minute to share a video that I found in my feedreader the other day. (ht www.thinkchristian.net)

God is bigger than everything. Merry Christmas.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt12-Fatherhood

// November 24th, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Adoption

    I sit here today with a heavy heart.  I have looked high and low, searched far and wide and yet I feel alone.  No I am not lonely, I am excited about my life. However, when I scour the web looking for information and support related to adoption.  I end up running into many women that blog about adoption, very few dads. In fact, I don’t think there is a blog out there, other than mine, where there is a man, a father, writing on his perspectives on adoption and family and things related to the high calling of biblical Manhood.

Plenty of blogging rings on womanhood, and a mother’s perspective on adoption and I have found some, albeit a few committed blogging dads.  I still feel quite alone or unique in writing from my perspective on fatherhood.  I hope it will benefit some other dads out there.

Now don’t hear me wrong, I ain’t a saint, I have my problems with being ‘over-committed’ aka addicted to working too long, surfing too much, playing soccer too much and just being forgetful.  I work everyday on loving my wife and she loves me even when I am selfish.

I hope that many dads who may read this will be encouraged by my words and my experiences.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt 11-Our Agency

// November 23rd, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption, Colombia

Link: International Adoption :: International Adoption Agency.

Adoption is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted things in parenthood.  Bad press, like corrupt social services, media that has the motto “if it bleeds, it leads,” and people that feel like having adopted children is like being a second class citizen.  Recently our county, city, and state governments are facing this very stipulation from a handful of greedy politicians and immature social workers.  I don’t want to talk much about that here, because I don’t want to highlight it any more than the press has already done.  But, when we saw this, our hearts were broken and our minds baffled by the circumstances.   

The thing that I want to focus on is our wonderful agency, Children’s Hope International.  I know that there are several great agencies out there but we chose CHI.  So my experience with agencies is a little one sided. My vote is for CHI

Some things that will help you make the proper decisions when seeking out an agency to use for adoption.  I will list what I believe to be the top 3 things to look for when considering an agency: (all of these we felt strongly characterized our agency and their staff.)

3. Understanding/explaining the process. When you attend the informational seminar (which you should do b4 making any decision) the agency should be able to answer every question you can think of related to the process of adoption and how they will help you.  They should be able to clearly define and explain the costs involved and the payment expectations and work with you on seeking individual solutions for financing, and or affording adoption. If the person giving the seminar isn’t “the expert” on the countries policies and procedures you are considering, they should put you in touch with someone from their agency who is, ASAP.

2. Accredited Programs.  Any agency you choose should have a valid up to date accreditations in their entire program.  They should also have up to date accreditations in the specific country you consider adopting from.  A symbol that is important to me also is the ECFA (Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability), this symbol represents trust and accountability with the agencies accounting practices. Knowledge of and adherence to The Hague rules and regulations is also important.

1. Shared Value System with Wonderful Staff.  The agency staff has to be friendly and gentle. Their Values must align with your value system. You don’t want to be getting advice from those whose value system you don’t share when you are at times emotionally taxed and looking for support and answers.

You will need to feel treated like a person and like you are the only one that matters. Punctuality in response, knowledge of questions, and reassurance are all important.  As you proceed through the process they will be the ones you call with “urgent” questions about the paperwork process.  They need to be calm under pressure and above all they need to treat you like you really, really matter.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt 10-Ten Months Together

// November 22nd, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Adoption

Ten Months together, today marks exactly 10 months that we’ve been together.  This is thanksgiving day and we couldn’t be more excited that it marks 10 months with our children.  There are many reasons to give thanks this thanksgiving and I will list our top 10.

10. We have survived our 1st ten months of parenting.
9. Our dog, Nala, has taken well to being the big sister.
8. “Manny” is speaking more words and uttering more sounds each day.
7. Card board boxes, (they entertain for hours and make cool cars for Awana drive in night)
6. Bed time routines.
5. Memorizing Scripture (this helps the kids speak and learn the english language)
4. A steady Job (provides great comfort and assurance of God’s providence)
3. Playing outside, (entertain for hours with a little dirt)
2. Grandparents (always willing to love)
1. Super Mami (without her, the kids would still be illiterate and still leave the toilet seat up)

What are you Thankful for this thanksgiving and Christmas season?

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt 9-Older Child Adoptions

// November 20th, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption

Link: Christian Adoption Blog – TV Show About Older Child Adoption.

What is the difference between older child adoption and adopting infants/toddlers.  There is varied opinions on what constitutes older child adoption.  No matter the flavor, international or domestic adoption I would say that older child adoptions include but are not limited to those that are 2-18 yr olds. See this link.

Older child
adoptions are usually more readily available than infant adoptions as a
good amount of adoptive parents are interested in adopting a child who
is still in the infant stage of life.

   When we set out to adopt 2 years ago, we “wanted,” “desired,” and “thought” about having a new baby in our house.  Never did we consider the option of having an older child in our family.  As you found out above, older child adoptions start with 24 month olds.

As we moved through the process, we began to see our hearts change and our perspective of family change as well.  Wherever you are at in the process to adoption or in life, we hope that you will always give thanks for what you have.

Here’s a verse to hold onto this week: 1 Thesselonians 5;16-18, “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Yes, I’m just trying…

// November 18th, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Adoption

Yes, I’m just trying up this new feature called jott.com. I think you would love it if you enjoy blogging and you can do it from anywhere, right now I’m in my car as you’re reading this. listen

Powered by Jott

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt 8-Goodbye!?

// November 16th, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption

What are we doing? What must the kids be thinking?  Who are we?  All these questions popped
into our head as we were preparing to meet our kids when we arrived in Colombia.  Just today “SuperMami” (my name for my beautiful wife ‘mami’ is pronounced mommy) told me what “Mowgli” (our name for our oldest son) had said to her yesterday.  While I was at work, they all reviewed the pictures from our time in Colombia.  When they saw the picture where we met them for the first time, Mowgli commented with a sad tone in his voice;

“that was a sad day Mami. We no happy.”
“Why, dear?”
“Cause we said goodbye to our other mami! We no see her no more.”

This got me thinking.  Are we really that selfish to not consider the emotions of our children at such a
pivotal point in our lives together?  But only when we were ready to leave Colombia did I sob like a baby and hurt for them when they had to say goodbye to Colombia.  Read my post here for more on that thought.  I recall thinking briefly about their feelings but those thoughts quickly faded as we anticipated the new life we were about to have.

Meeting our kids was something we had waited for, prayed for and hoped for over a year.  It was the climax of our journey to adopt on our roller-coaster.  We had finally left the train station and “clicked” all the way up the hill.  We never thought about it from their perspective.  Yeah it may one day in the distant future be a climax to them but they were on a different type of rollercoaster that day.  They woke up that morning said goodbye to their “foster-mami” for the last time, ate their last breakfast at ‘that’ table.  Mowgli said goodbye to his friends at school potentially forever as he left for siesta that day.  Lord knows what was going through his mind.

Maybe the frightened look that covered their faces that day was not because we were ugly or looked mean but because they were grieving.  Grieving is a natural by-product of adoption.  As new parents, you will have to stand firm, cry with them, reassure them, and just hold them to allow their tears to penetrate God’s heart and yours.  I believe that as I hurt, my heavenly father hurts too.  I honestly think that in those nights where we were absolutely heartbroken over our children’s tears of sorrow and hurt, that the Holy Spirit carried us through and we can and will look back and see only 1 set of footprints in the sand.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt 7-Moses

// November 14th, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption

    What sticks out the most in the bible about adoption.  Is it the many verses that come to mind about God loving us and accepting us as part of his family, like I’ve talked about before?  Is it the idea that you receive all the benefits of heaven despite your sinful nature?  I wonder what Moses’ mother was thinking as she placed her 3 month old in a basket and sent him down the river?!

Some of us forget, but Moses was adopted.  He inherited the pharaohs family and it’s power. Ultimately we know God used the position Moses had and the influence he had in the pharaohs family to bring the Israelites to freedom.  Moses is a great example of what adoption means and how God views the adopted.   I think that is where I will end the analogy.

Tip of the Day: Take time in the next week to do something with your child.  Build a fort, build a car out of boxes, play star wars in the back yard, play dress up in the living room, play a board game, or have a tickle fight.  Cheap and inexpensive ideas for lasting memories with your kids. (make sure you let them try, and fail and encourage them when they succeed.)

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

N.A.M pt 6-The Cry of the Orphan

// November 13th, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption

“It is the cry of my heart to honor you, it is the cry of my heart worship you…” this  contemporary worship song continues on to describe our heart for worshiping God.  What exactly is the cry of the orphan?

Love, Hope, and Home.  My previous job taught me many things about children, teenagers especially, which can be applied to understanding the Cry of Orphans as well as the cries of everyones heart.  These things are:

1. You ARE loved without strings. This statement is true for everyone, not just for the orphan or the hurting kid.  There is a evidence of this found in the Bible, when you read 1 John 4:19-”We love because he first loved us.” This is to say that our love is conditional and our ability to love is based on God’s unconditional, no strings attached love for us.  Ultimately the truth of that statement for everyone is true because God is Love (1 John 4:8,16)

2. You are Lovable, capable and worthwhile.  This statement of truth brings hope to the hurting soul.  The truth of this statement challenges the messages that the world beats into the orphaned and even into the non-orphaned people like you or me.  Messages like; nobody wants you, you will never amount to anything, or your only worth something when I benefit from your existence.  Sometimes these messages come from the ones that are supposed to guide and protect us; like abusive parents, grandparents, teachers, or bosses.  Everyone needs to hear this and come to believe it is true.

3. You are not alone. This third statement infiltrates truth into the lie that the devil propagates everywhere he goes.  The lie that says, you are the only one that matters in this world, or the other lie that says, no one cares about you, why don’t you just…(end it, blame God, or hide it)  We tend to believe this on many levels, and orphans come to believe it because everyone has abandoned them, left them, and forgot about them.  The ways that it manifests itself in our lives is that we act selfishly, succumb to depression, or retreat to solitude to create a self fulfilling prophecy.  God promised Moses in Deuteronomy 31:6,8 saying that he “…will never leave them…” and how Jesus promised his disciples saying, “…surely I am with you ALWAYS…” in Matt:28:20. Just as he has promised to be with us always we believe that there is a place where we will be together and have a place to call home.

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.