So I ran to the toolbox grabbed the appropriate supplies and began the tedious task of cleaning out the closet and contorting my body into the tight small space the water heater occupies.  So I got it turned up and now the fun part….  Putting the cover over the dial.  When all of a sudden, the metal door I am getting ready to screw in place makes contact with a couple of the exposed wires causing a “harmless” spark that then starts the insulation on a burn. “OH CRAP!” and like superman, I rip the sliding door off its hinge, throw the paint cans off the fire extinguisher we bought because of our adoption pre screening.   Rip it out of a box like a baby during a C-section, and pop the little pin off, AIM, FIRE,  the fire is out…..YAYYYYYYY.   Now I gotta clean up the mess and reset the breaker, all is well in the Huerta home.

Thanks to the adoption Home Study which scared us into buying a fire extinguisher!

    She is old so we just let her be in her world of imaginary fun.  Ohhhh how wrong we were.  The next morning supermom went to work on the compy in the computer room and the stench of dead animal overwhelmed her.  After about an hour of contemplating the smell of the litter box, the smell of the area still smelled worse than a litter box.  So the family deep cleaned the sun room, but to no avail.   The cat must have been on to something, no she didn’t die (unfortunately), but something else did.  We have come to the sober conclusion, after checking the crawl space and attic that there is a dead animal trapped between our walls somewhere and it STINKS.  Aside from cutting holes between every stud in our walls to find the critter, we must wait this out.  Glad that the air outside is crisp and clear.   So it makes the waiting a little more bareable. 

    This morning I took the boys with me under the house and Manny, our littlest, excitedelly exclaimed, "Dead Animal, I going to get Dead Animal!"  Oh how I love being a dad.

I couldn’t help but think about that statement on the rest of my drive.  Then I remember what I learned about the birch tree in the north woods of Wisconsin. See my poem about the birch tree here.

I also began to think about what happens when we stop learning.  When you take into consideration that the average millionaire reads 1 good non fiction book a month, helps you understand that success is intentional.

When I stop learning or exploring God’s word, my fathering will be hindered, my marriage may suffer, my mind will stop growing, therefore “decay will begin.”

What are you doing to help keep growing, what are you learning now that will be beneficial to you in 5, 10, 20 years?  Maybe you lost a job, I don’t know, what are you going to do about it?  What are you going to learn so you avoid decay?  Did you know that the best thing to hinder the onset of diseases like Alzeihmers is to constantly challenge your mind and your body; through regular challenges, crosswords, sudoku, knitting, crocheting, walking, reading, and writing. When you stop learning or growing, you decay!

My parents divorced when I was 12 and I became disconnected from my father.   I wrote down something that to this day rocks me.  Something that I swore I would never do to my son,  should God bless me with one.  That statement was, “No matter how hard I tried, I could not lead myself into manhood.” I promised that my son would never have to experience that feeling.

During college; at the height of my physical prowess, I hiked up Mt. Washington, in New Hampshire, the highest summit this side of the rockies.  It was a sobering test of patience and stamina.  Three quarters of the way up, we encountered a sign that would humble the most seasoned hiker and avid adventure traveler.  The sign said, “DANGER! TURN BACK NOW IF THE WEATHER IS BAD.  Many have died here from exposure, even in the summer!”

Now I stand at the foot of that mountain, fathering 2 son(s) to manhood.  Will I fear the DANGER sign toward the end of the journey?  Will I be confident with the trail I have chosen?  Will the summit be as glorious as I imagine?  Will I be able to let them go down into the valley?  How will I protect, guide, and teach them about the ‘birds and the bees’ and all the beautiful sycamore trees on the way up?  Will we encounter any lost fathers on the way?  What will I do when any of us want to give up on the journey?

Despite my lack of a guide, I think I got there.  I think I reached manhood, a little hurt, bruised, calloused, and weaker than my more fortunate counterparts.  BUT, I have had 7 years of solid marriage and ministry experience to help patch up the bruises and strengthen the weary bones.  So, YES, I will take my boys up that mountain, I will be their guide to manhood.  Lord willing I will see them guide as well.

The “wussification” of America.  I recently attended a mens event with my father in law and brother in law, where we were privileged to laugh with a great comedian.  Brad Stine is the one who used the phrase in his new comedy sketches, you can check him out online at  Brad Stine dot Com

The masculine identity in American culture and the western Church is being tested, challenged, wussified and most drastically emasculated.  Women are not the ones doing the emasculating either.  I see the lack of action from strong, courageous and willing men as more of the problem.  For too many years we as men have allowed women to be the sole nurturing influence in our children’s lives and thus our children, especially boys, have lost what it means to fight for weak, widowed and orphaned people.  They have not lived a life of adventure and wonder.  They have not lived dangerously fought valiently for the beauty in their lives. They live in a safe world because in all honesty a womens world is not dangerous, nor should it be, it is full of safety and security.

Don’t get me wrong, Women are vital, but when their is lack of male leadership, we get a generation of wussified boys whose biggest battle is whether to get out of bed or not or score the highest score in Halo. I believe men need to step up and be the men God intended them to be. It is not entirely the culture’s fault that men are uninvolved in spiritual life, and have become lazy.  Men need to stand up and take responsibility for themselves, their family and their callings.   They need to fight for their children.

The next day as we were driving home after the Men’s Night out, Meg was reading a parents  magazine to me.  we stopped at a stoplight (a long one) and I began to look at the article and think to myself, No that’s not right.  (You can read the article online at They are what we call them!)

The article deals with naming our children or as they put it, labeling our children.  Saying that we should not label our children “negatively” with words like shy, wild, stubborn or defiant….instead we should label them careful, energetic,  tenacious, or courageous respectively.

To quote the author, “These simple substitutes can go a long way toward making your child feel he’s great.” Well all this may be fine and dandy if you a.) want to lie to your children or b.) when dealing with your boys you want them to be little princesses or c.) think that everyone in the world he or she will come in contact with cares about making your child feel like he’s great, like you do.  Yes it is our job and duty to establish our child’s self esteem but should we lie to our children to make them feel good? Not everyone is a winner. Get over it.

The new label, as the author of the article suggests, for stubborn is tenacious.  While I admit that the new label holds some truth I think the “old” label does as well.  For example, my son is a tenacious little man, but he is also very stubborn when he doesn’t want to do what he should be doing.  Other labels I had issue with.  The “wild” label changed to the energetic label.  While it is in fact true that my daughter is very energetic and full of spunk and charisma, I would argue that there are many times she is wild and out of control.  However I want my boys to know that God gave them a warrior spirit and their heart cries to be wild, to be challenged, and that they are courageous as they stand staring defiantly in the face of evil.

I understand that what I’m reading may be written from the perspective safety of the womb and the nurturing mother of a toddler.  One day that toddler will have to grow up and deal with a broken, hurt, lost and frightening world.  I know that one day my toddler will have to leave the cocoon of his mother’s care and enter the world of MEN.  I want him, as well as my older children to understand truth and even though there are times they may be a slowpoke that doesn’t always mean their being thoughtful, and that when my daughter makes a fuss about something it doesn’t mean she’s being selective. Alternately, I’m very selective, just look at my wonderful wife, but I’m also very fussy about food and picky about what I eat.

Although intending to do our kids good by labeling them “safe” labels like careful instead of shy does no good for developing our child’s sense of self, purpose or truth in the world we live in.

Let me know what you think.