teamhuerta

Postmodernism-Part 1

// March 6th, 2008 // No Comments » // Children, Christianity, Life, Youth Ministry

I read this in a recent edition of a newsletter I get related to ministry.  Feel free to visit the source if you would like to read the entire article at this website, Men Passing the Batton. Post modernism is not something new to anyone who has studied history or philosophical thought.  Post modernism is not in itself evil or bad but the thought process and beliefs assimilated through post modernism can be dangerous.

Whether you want to admit it or not, we live in a world filled with this kind of thought.   You, your friends, and your friends children all process this world different than our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers.

“Whether you do or do not believe post-modern thinking today is the social and academic ocean you are swimming in, is beside the point. The chickens are coming home to roost! What we have been sowing in our classrooms and academic elites for decades is blossoming today. Kids think as post-modern umpires, instinctively. They have to be lead into objective truth, if we believe in truth outside ourselves. Truth is up for grabs!” -Jim Mearadith (MEN Newsletter)

Who is going to teach our kids about truth?  The media, grandparents, babysitters, the T.V, movies, the Wii?  In the case of the umpires, they are all right.  Or are they?  Why or why not?

The Marathon

// March 5th, 2008 // No Comments » // Budgeting

    Goal setting is not one of my strong suits.  But one goal I have become more and more passionate about is "CHANGING MY FAMILY TREE."  Not in the literal sense but……….. in the literal sense.

    Supermom and I were blessed with wisdom from her parents before we were married 7 years ago.  The agreement was that they would pay for the rest of her college if we waited to get married until she graduated.  Looking back on that now, I am amazed at the sacrifice they made for US, and the burden they removed from our young lives. THANK YOU.  THANK YOU Mom and Dad.

    With that wedding gift they also, subtly but confidently, (hey, how did you get us to do that and make it seem like it was our idea) got us to start a BUDGET.  We have operated on a budget since and are working towards being DEBT FREE by the end of 2010.    Thanks to the diligence of living on a budget and working our plan we can see light at the end of the tunnel.  Leaving our kids an inheritance is our goal and blessing our future grandbabbies with a debt free financial future will allow them to GIVE like no one else. 

Fathering

// March 3rd, 2008 // No Comments » // Fathering, Manhood

Some of my most painful memories from youth came flooding back to me about 5 years ago.  I was not involved in therapy or anything like that.  By nature I am very melancholic, so it must have been one very lowly day.

My parents divorced when I was 12 and I became disconnected from my father.   I wrote down something that to this day rocks me.  Something that I swore I would never do to my son,  should God bless me with one.  That statement was, “No matter how hard I tried, I could not lead myself into manhood.” I promised that my son would never have to experience that feeling.

During college; at the height of my physical prowess, I hiked up Mt. Washington, in New Hampshire, the highest summit this side of the rockies.  It was a sobering test of patience and stamina.  Three quarters of the way up, we encountered a sign that would humble the most seasoned hiker and avid adventure traveler.  The sign said, “DANGER! TURN BACK NOW IF THE WEATHER IS BAD.  Many have died here from exposure, even in the summer!”

Now I stand at the foot of that mountain, fathering 2 son(s) to manhood.  Will I fear the DANGER sign toward the end of the journey?  Will I be confident with the trail I have chosen?  Will the summit be as glorious as I imagine?  Will I be able to let them go down into the valley?  How will I protect, guide, and teach them about the ‘birds and the bees’ and all the beautiful sycamore trees on the way up?  Will we encounter any lost fathers on the way?  What will I do when any of us want to give up on the journey?

Despite my lack of a guide, I think I got there.  I think I reached manhood, a little hurt, bruised, calloused, and weaker than my more fortunate counterparts.  BUT, I have had 7 years of solid marriage and ministry experience to help patch up the bruises and strengthen the weary bones.  So, YES, I will take my boys up that mountain, I will be their guide to manhood.  Lord willing I will see them guide as well.

…Sometimes…

// March 3rd, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Children

…We laugh at our kids.

…We discipline our kids.

…We cry with our kids.

…We sacrifice for our kids.

…We have it all figured out.

…We have nothing figured out.

…We pull our hair out so we don’t pull theirs out.

…We breakdown and cry.

…We get stressed.

…We wish we had a ‘happy place.’

…We rock in the rocking chair.

…We build, play or wrestle together.

…We tickle each other.

What are some other …sometimes… for you?

Awana Grand Prix

// March 2nd, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

The first video is of our kids races and how they did during the event.  The bottom video is some of the best finishes and closest races from the day.  Be sure to check out the last photo finish.  Let us know who you think won.  You can pause it right at the end to stare at how close it was.  Overall, we had a great experience at our first Awana Grand Prix.

what do they become?

// December 4th, 2007 // No Comments » // Youth Ministry

    Is that a boy over there or do I see a man?  My work as a youth minister has been greatly interrupted by the expansion of our family.  Not in a bad way, mind you. But interruption has happened none the less.  I don’t know if you could relate or if you could imagine a life of "certainty" and "stability."  For example here are  a few things I’ve had to re-learn as a youth minister because of my fatherhood.

1. I don’t have the "right" answer anymore to respond to the concerned junior high parent that says,"he is just so disrespectful, I want to "kill" him!" (cause sometimes I feel the same way)

2. Parents need all the help and support and love they can get.

3. Just when I think I have it all figured out, God shows up and shows me something totally different.

4. Stable and well adjusted parents would never dislike their child, "children are too precious and sweet and innocent"

5. Oh yeah, that innocent thing, it ain’t true.

6.  Even though, maybe because I am, a youth minister, I want my kids to skip over those years.  I have a beautiful Latino daughter, and 2 handsome boys who all have the potential to call into question my ability to know anything at all about teenagers.

7.  I don’t have the greatest influence on teenagers that participate in my ministry.

8.  I don’t know everything I once thought I knew.

9.  God is God and he still loves me, even though I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing.

    One day I will look at my children and despite the obvious genetic difference in appearance, they will have adopted and personalized some of my beliefs and I will see me or at least a reflection of me.  Then I will know what fatherhood really is about.  So I write this, certain that I know 2 things about being a father.  One, God will always love me and secondly, I don’t know what I’m doing!

N.A.M pt 11-Our Agency

// November 23rd, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption, Colombia

Link: International Adoption :: International Adoption Agency.

Adoption is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted things in parenthood.  Bad press, like corrupt social services, media that has the motto “if it bleeds, it leads,” and people that feel like having adopted children is like being a second class citizen.  Recently our county, city, and state governments are facing this very stipulation from a handful of greedy politicians and immature social workers.  I don’t want to talk much about that here, because I don’t want to highlight it any more than the press has already done.  But, when we saw this, our hearts were broken and our minds baffled by the circumstances.   

The thing that I want to focus on is our wonderful agency, Children’s Hope International.  I know that there are several great agencies out there but we chose CHI.  So my experience with agencies is a little one sided. My vote is for CHI

Some things that will help you make the proper decisions when seeking out an agency to use for adoption.  I will list what I believe to be the top 3 things to look for when considering an agency: (all of these we felt strongly characterized our agency and their staff.)

3. Understanding/explaining the process. When you attend the informational seminar (which you should do b4 making any decision) the agency should be able to answer every question you can think of related to the process of adoption and how they will help you.  They should be able to clearly define and explain the costs involved and the payment expectations and work with you on seeking individual solutions for financing, and or affording adoption. If the person giving the seminar isn’t “the expert” on the countries policies and procedures you are considering, they should put you in touch with someone from their agency who is, ASAP.

2. Accredited Programs.  Any agency you choose should have a valid up to date accreditations in their entire program.  They should also have up to date accreditations in the specific country you consider adopting from.  A symbol that is important to me also is the ECFA (Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability), this symbol represents trust and accountability with the agencies accounting practices. Knowledge of and adherence to The Hague rules and regulations is also important.

1. Shared Value System with Wonderful Staff.  The agency staff has to be friendly and gentle. Their Values must align with your value system. You don’t want to be getting advice from those whose value system you don’t share when you are at times emotionally taxed and looking for support and answers.

You will need to feel treated like a person and like you are the only one that matters. Punctuality in response, knowledge of questions, and reassurance are all important.  As you proceed through the process they will be the ones you call with “urgent” questions about the paperwork process.  They need to be calm under pressure and above all they need to treat you like you really, really matter.

N.A.M pt 10-Ten Months Together

// November 22nd, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Adoption

Ten Months together, today marks exactly 10 months that we’ve been together.  This is thanksgiving day and we couldn’t be more excited that it marks 10 months with our children.  There are many reasons to give thanks this thanksgiving and I will list our top 10.

10. We have survived our 1st ten months of parenting.
9. Our dog, Nala, has taken well to being the big sister.
8. “Manny” is speaking more words and uttering more sounds each day.
7. Card board boxes, (they entertain for hours and make cool cars for Awana drive in night)
6. Bed time routines.
5. Memorizing Scripture (this helps the kids speak and learn the english language)
4. A steady Job (provides great comfort and assurance of God’s providence)
3. Playing outside, (entertain for hours with a little dirt)
2. Grandparents (always willing to love)
1. Super Mami (without her, the kids would still be illiterate and still leave the toilet seat up)

What are you Thankful for this thanksgiving and Christmas season?

N.A.M pt 8-Goodbye!?

// November 16th, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption

What are we doing? What must the kids be thinking?  Who are we?  All these questions popped
into our head as we were preparing to meet our kids when we arrived in Colombia.  Just today “SuperMami” (my name for my beautiful wife ‘mami’ is pronounced mommy) told me what “Mowgli” (our name for our oldest son) had said to her yesterday.  While I was at work, they all reviewed the pictures from our time in Colombia.  When they saw the picture where we met them for the first time, Mowgli commented with a sad tone in his voice;

“that was a sad day Mami. We no happy.”
“Why, dear?”
“Cause we said goodbye to our other mami! We no see her no more.”

This got me thinking.  Are we really that selfish to not consider the emotions of our children at such a
pivotal point in our lives together?  But only when we were ready to leave Colombia did I sob like a baby and hurt for them when they had to say goodbye to Colombia.  Read my post here for more on that thought.  I recall thinking briefly about their feelings but those thoughts quickly faded as we anticipated the new life we were about to have.

Meeting our kids was something we had waited for, prayed for and hoped for over a year.  It was the climax of our journey to adopt on our roller-coaster.  We had finally left the train station and “clicked” all the way up the hill.  We never thought about it from their perspective.  Yeah it may one day in the distant future be a climax to them but they were on a different type of rollercoaster that day.  They woke up that morning said goodbye to their “foster-mami” for the last time, ate their last breakfast at ‘that’ table.  Mowgli said goodbye to his friends at school potentially forever as he left for siesta that day.  Lord knows what was going through his mind.

Maybe the frightened look that covered their faces that day was not because we were ugly or looked mean but because they were grieving.  Grieving is a natural by-product of adoption.  As new parents, you will have to stand firm, cry with them, reassure them, and just hold them to allow their tears to penetrate God’s heart and yours.  I believe that as I hurt, my heavenly father hurts too.  I honestly think that in those nights where we were absolutely heartbroken over our children’s tears of sorrow and hurt, that the Holy Spirit carried us through and we can and will look back and see only 1 set of footprints in the sand.

N.A.M pt 6-The Cry of the Orphan

// November 13th, 2007 // No Comments » // Adoption

“It is the cry of my heart to honor you, it is the cry of my heart worship you…” this  contemporary worship song continues on to describe our heart for worshiping God.  What exactly is the cry of the orphan?

Love, Hope, and Home.  My previous job taught me many things about children, teenagers especially, which can be applied to understanding the Cry of Orphans as well as the cries of everyones heart.  These things are:

1. You ARE loved without strings. This statement is true for everyone, not just for the orphan or the hurting kid.  There is a evidence of this found in the Bible, when you read 1 John 4:19-”We love because he first loved us.” This is to say that our love is conditional and our ability to love is based on God’s unconditional, no strings attached love for us.  Ultimately the truth of that statement for everyone is true because God is Love (1 John 4:8,16)

2. You are Lovable, capable and worthwhile.  This statement of truth brings hope to the hurting soul.  The truth of this statement challenges the messages that the world beats into the orphaned and even into the non-orphaned people like you or me.  Messages like; nobody wants you, you will never amount to anything, or your only worth something when I benefit from your existence.  Sometimes these messages come from the ones that are supposed to guide and protect us; like abusive parents, grandparents, teachers, or bosses.  Everyone needs to hear this and come to believe it is true.

3. You are not alone. This third statement infiltrates truth into the lie that the devil propagates everywhere he goes.  The lie that says, you are the only one that matters in this world, or the other lie that says, no one cares about you, why don’t you just…(end it, blame God, or hide it)  We tend to believe this on many levels, and orphans come to believe it because everyone has abandoned them, left them, and forgot about them.  The ways that it manifests itself in our lives is that we act selfishly, succumb to depression, or retreat to solitude to create a self fulfilling prophecy.  God promised Moses in Deuteronomy 31:6,8 saying that he “…will never leave them…” and how Jesus promised his disciples saying, “…surely I am with you ALWAYS…” in Matt:28:20. Just as he has promised to be with us always we believe that there is a place where we will be together and have a place to call home.